Life is Good!

I don't really know what to write right now but I feel like writing so I'm just going to start and see what comes out. This past weekend was really great. I did a lot of fun things and church was really great on Sunday. I just love Sundays and the peace and rejuvenation I feel after all of the goings-ons. I really felt the spirit strong during Sacrament meeting and especially during the sacrament itself. I felt my Heavenly Father's love for me and I realized a deeper meaning of the atonement in my life. I am so grateful for the chance that I have to repent and to start off my week with a fresh start after partaking of the sacrament. It is truly an amazing blessing in my life and I know that I would not get anywhere without that opportunity to start again and to try harder. I know that Christ sacrificed His life for me so that I can repent and be forgiven. I know that He went through with the atonement so that He can feel and know what I am going through and so He can be there for me when I turn to Him for help. And I know that He will be there for me. All I have to do is knock, and the door will be opened unto me.

So on Friday, my friend Jordan, who is one of the tech people for Divine Comedy, invited me to come to their show and sit in the booth with him. He told me that one of the other tech guys is leaving next semester and they need to find a replacement and that he wants me to do it. So I went to the show and they explained everything they do to me and showed me how they do it all. They also invited me to come to the next show in December as well. I think I am going to do it and that it'll be a good experience. It's not a paying job but it would be good to have on my resume. And I don't even know if I'll get the job but Jordan makes it sound like I am at the top of the list for it. So hopefully it works out. It would be really fun!

Then on Saturday, I went to the Football game and we totally dominated. BYU 55–UNLV 7. Oh yeah. It was my friend Stephanie's birthday so we all say that the team won it just for her. Here's a pic of me, Cassandra, Stephanie, and Pepper, our friends, friends baby at the game. We held her for practically the entire game :) It was fun. She is so dang cute!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Stephanie! Steph is so awesome. I'm so glad she is my next door neighbor and friend. She's just always so happy and nice and thoughtful. I love her!

After the game on Saturday, a bunch of us went and got Pita Pit and then sat and ate and talked and laughed. Sometimes that is just my favorite thing to do; sit and talk with friends. It's so great. Then I took a nap, another one of my favorite things to do :) Then I went on a date with Brandon Robinson! I had a really fun night and a delicious dinner that he cooked! We went and had steaks at his apartment and then joined up with a bunch of other people from our ward and had a bonfire down by Utah Lake. It really was one of the best dates I've ever been on! Brandon is so awesome.

So really, life is good right now. I had one test yesterday and three more that I have to take by the end of this week so I am kind of freaking out but I am trying to stay positive and focused and I know that I'll make it through somehow!

Goodnight!

Tired

All I have to say right now, is that I'm tired. I'm tired because I haven't been getting enough sleep (kind of obvious... I'm a college student) but I'm also tired of school, and of my messy room, and of eating unhealthily, and of dating, and of being selfish and shallow.

I don't know why I am so bad at school. Probably because I haven't learned how to work and really dedicate myself to something and accomplish it. Which is SO bad! This is a lesson that I need to know in order to survive in life and I can't get myself to learn and follow it! I wish there was a class on it. How to live life 101. The unfortunate thing is that I would take it and just fail it 'cause that's what I do in all my classes. But at least I really enjoy learning what I am learning, I just don't do the work that I need to do to show my teachers that I am actually learning anything. I really do love my major and where I am in school though. I love learning about and being around music all the time. It makes me so happy and I never get sick of it.

I wish it was easy to keep my room clean because I love having it organized and looking good but for some reason, when it comes time to take off my clothes, it seems like the hardest thing in the world to either put it in my hamper or hang it back up. Maddie, it's so much easier than you make it seem in your head. Just put it away and you will be so much happier!

Oh man, I wish there was a way to just skip the whole dating period of life. It is so hard. I mean, okay, there are times when it is fun and I get to do lots of fun things and I appreciate the boys I go out with for spending time getting to know me and for the chance to get to know them, but honestly, it is so emotionally and physically draining. Sometimes I wish I could just have a weekend like last weekend, where I have time to do whatever I want to do. That's really selfish of me, huh? Well this weekend is not like that. I have so much to do and not enough time to do it all! But it'll be fun. And it'll work itself out. And maybe someday I'll find the right person and dating will feel right and be fun...

I went home to Alpine last night and was SO fun. It was Dad's 49th Birthday and I'm glad I was able to go home and spend time with him. He is so wonderful and I so appreciate all that he does for me! Plus Mom made cherry pie... sooo good. It is so nice to go home every once and a while and just be around people who love you no matter what you do. I love being around my wonderful family. They make me laugh and think and cry and laugh some more. I kind of got the feeling last night though, that I should really be less selfish and self-centered. It's just hard when I go home though, because I want to tell my family all about what's been happening and all the fun I've been having, but I need to be better at listening and helping others instead of just being focused on myself all the time. I love my family so much and there is so much that I wish I could do for them! But I can't even get my own life figured out. Do you think maybe if I focused more on helping others and doing things for the people around me that my life would just work itself out better? Hmmm. There are so many awesome people in my life, like my roommate and my neighbors and my family and the people in my ward. I just wish I could be more like them. I am so grateful for their examples of selflessness, gratitude and patience with life and with me! They are truly examples of living Christlike lives.

Cousins lunch was, of course, super fun today. Jen brought Halloween treats again (she's wonderful!) and we had fun with them :)

Here's a video too, for good measure. I love how Covey says, "She's got lots of experience with that tongue." Hahaha. I love these guys.

By the way, 12 days until Rachy comes down for an entire week and a half for Thanksgiving!! I am so excited to see her and have her around for that long. It's going to be the best week of this semester :) fo reals. Can you believe Thanksgiving is only in 3 weeks? I am already so excited for Thanksgiving Dinner I can hardly wait! 

I'm glad that I decided to make this post right now. Writing down my thoughts has cheered me up and I feel like I can handle life's challenges. I'm not convinced that I really can but I'll just pretend and hope that this feeling sticks for a while. I know that anything is possible through Jesus Christ so I'll rely on Him to get through and I'll make it somehow.